Finally I felt the calming breeze

Stepping out to watch the final scene
After all, it's you, my pride, and me
I can't speak, whatever I can speak


ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
So yeah, I'm about to take this blog to an unintentional morbid direction. Well, I guess it's intentional since I just pointed it out. However, the idea for it didn't start that way.

As we get closer to the projected "end of the world", I've been doing a lot of reflecting, as it were. No, I don't actually think the world is going to end on December 21. With that said, though, I have been thinking a lot about my life and what I've become. I've been reflecting on all that I've accomplished and failed at. Numerous, countless, immeasurable failures and successes. Twenty-five years of life. Twenty-five, what a long/short life it's been.

So the question is this: If I were to die tomorrow, am I who I wanted to be?

So let's start.

PART ONE

Regrets and what they have taught me:

1. I regret that I didn't forgive my father while he was alive. I wish that I had been able to accept his apology and extend mine before it was too late.  I've spent a lot of my life angry at him. For what? It has taken 25 years for me to learn that anger is detrimental to the person who is angry. It almost never effects the person who is the subject of it. And now, I will never be able to take that anger back...no matter how well deserved it was in the first place. This is perhaps the single thing I regret most.

2. I regret all the worrying I've done. For most of my life I've let worry and anxiety control me. Wether it has been grades, work, relationships, money, health or a scratch on the side of my car. I have let worry control me to an often detrimental level. There was a point in my life that it controlled me so much that I couldn't sleep, couldn't leave my house, couldn't trust my dogs with a caretaker, and would stay up all night to make sure the people that I loved most stayed alive through the night. I'm not kidding. I distinctly remember, as a child, waking up in the middle of the night to make sure my brother and sister were still breathing. Worry, like anger, is detrimental only to the person doing it. I often have to remind myself that "this too shall pass" or ask myself, "is this really going to matter tomorrow?", "will this fix anything?", "will this stop anything bad from happening?" I still struggle with mind numbing anxiety and I'm tired of losing countless hours to it. I regret the days I've already handed to worry.

3. I regret being "that girl." This may seem trivial to you, but it's something that will sneak up on me ever so often. I had a friend around my freshman/sophomore years of college. The friendship with this person began in my Senior year of high school. This was someone that was very important to me, I didn't realize exactly how important until sometime later.  This person was truly the definition of everything a friend should be. I hurt this person in unspeakable ways, because I could not bear to be honest with myself. At the time I blamed it on "coming out of a long relationship" and the ever popular "it's not you it's me" scenario. I have not spoken to this person in about 5.5 years. The last time I "spoke" to him was through email. It was in this email that I apologized for being a liar, a coward, hurtful and an all around jerk. I'm not sure if this is something we all go through in our lives. I'm not sure it should be. However, it was truly a defining moment for me. I know that I'm being completely vague here, but just know that I was hurtful and heartbreaking. I often find myself missing this friendship. In the same breath, I've learned what it means to be on the giving side of pain. How easy it is to get caught up in your own selfishness. I've learned how important it is to be careful with the feelings of other people. Too little, too late.

4. I regret that I've been such a cynic. I have definitely developed myself into a "I have to see, touch, smell, hear and taste it before I believe it" person. I regret letting slip the faith I once had...in people, in family, in friends and in God. Some people may not want to hear it, and that's fine...we all have our own prerogatives. However, I honestly felt I was a better person when I put more trust in people and in spirituality. Life gets pretty old when you're constantly questioning the intentions and validity of everything. While knowledge is power, faith is fulfilling. This, is something I've slowly and painfully come to understand.

5. My final regret (for this project anyway). I wish that I would have carried out more of my childhood dreams. I know I've got loads of time for this, but sometimes I feel as if I didn't get to ANY of them. I'm working on photography now. What about the guitar, the abs, the trip to Australia, watching the ballet, meeting Hanson, swimming in the Pacific Ocean? Why do the majority of adults give up on these seemingly stupid things? I mean, how awesome would life be if I could say that I did all these things? I mean, there are a few that I've done, a few things I added a long the way. But darn it, I want to learn to play the guitar. I even have one! I think we should often remind ourselves what it's like to be a child, to accomplish those things we set out to do when we were 8 years old. I mean, I'm only 25, but in 10 years I'll only be 35. What then? What if I still haven't done these things? The only thing they'll do is make life more epic.


I challenge anyone that reads this to ask yourself the same question: "Am I who I want to be? What are my regrets? What have they taught me?"

Trust me, I have loads more regrets. For those who demand that they have none, I call bull. No life is perfect. We learn from regrets, from mistakes. Be thankful for regret, mistakes and learning.

I'll get part two up sometime before the end of the world. It'll be a bit more positive. Swear.


TOMATO, THE HUBS.
This weekend I went to Wilmington. It's the first time I've been up that way since Tomato came home from deployment. We had fun though. First we went to an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Party" then went to this little Greek place and ate some baklava.

I'm really learning to appreciate the time I have with my husband. Wether it's in a tiny Greek Deli eating baklava or in my living room watching The Walking Dead.

He is everything. Everything.

THE BOYS.

I've decided to shorten that. Just FYI. 

Zero, is zero. I've never met a sweeter dog, and I've cuddled quite a few dogs. I was sad that he couldn't go with us to Wilmington this weekend. He hates the car. However, he and Alpha did pose quite well for this Christmas photo with Santa Paws. 

Alpha did go with us. Last minute we didn't board them. Alpha loved his mini vacation and he's an awesome car rider. 

Song of the Day:

Pride by Manchester Orchestra

                                                                                        

This love is like water

and water gets rough

Had all I can stand

but I can't get enough

Let me love you again, 

give it one more try

Oh if the good Lord's willin'

and the creek don't rise

ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.

Well hello there party people! 

It's nice to write again. 

A lot has happened. I guess you imagined so since I haven't written since the beginning of September. 

So here's a little update. Most of you already know what's going on in my life anyway, but I'm going to reiterate because today I like redundancy. 

So September:

I donated bone marrow. We know this. I was on the news and got an incredible amount of attention. If you know me you know that attention, in particular, is not my most comfortable of positions. However, I believe that the NMDP received an influx of volunteers due to the publicity. I'm so glad that I could help out. It was an amazing experience for me and I would highly recommend everyone sign up. I'm serious. 

I did begin having a bit of right hip trouble but it wasn't anything that couldn't be patched up. I think I'm 100% now. I just found out about two days ago that I will be donating peripheral stem cells to the same patient in the near future. The good news is this means she did not reject my bone marrow and has engrafted and created 50% of my cells. They want to get her to a higher percentage so that's what I have to do the peripheral donation. This is similar to a blood donation, just longer...and more needles. This, I'm not looking forward to. However, if you're going to go, go all the way. 

Anyway, that about does it with the bone marrow thing. I'll keep ya'll updated. 

We also attempted to have my brother live with me during the end of this month. Unfortunately, it didn't work out and I ended up dropping him off at a Greyhound station with his guitar and $5 spending money. This may sound harsh, but it's the best thing that could have happened for everyone involved. I didn't speak about this on facebook, mostly because I was ashamed of how everything ended, of how hurt I was.

 I learned many life lessons during this time. Lessons that I thought I had already learned, but obviously did not. 

1. You can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves.

2. It doesn't matter how much you give someone. Giving doesn't promote motivation. It doesn't promote a grateful heart. It doesn't buy you love or respect.

3. The people you love the most, let you down the hardest. 

4. The definition of tough love is letting go.

5. The definition of unconditional love is letting go.

6. The power of words, especially hurtful ones. No matter how thick skinned you are, we all feel the effects of words. It doesn't matter how "hard" you think your heart is. You are not impervious to being hurt. 

7. People who think they know everything, know a lot about nothing. This is true for both sides of an argument.

8. Let go of anger, it only hurts the angry person. 

9. Forgive, but don't forget. 

10. The unconditional and powerful love that my family has for me. 

I left this situation with a clear conscience. I know that I did all that I could possibly do. Maybe one day I'll get to give the chance that was given to me when I was a teenager. The chance that changed my life. The words that Mr. Dan spoke to me on the day that he picked me up from my grandmother's house mean so much to me now, "You're getting this, because you WANT this. We'll never give up on you, don't give up on yourself. I'm proud of you."

October: 

My favorite month of the year. 

The fall colors and Halloween. 

I loved going to the zoo with Colin, even though he was scared of my Panda mask. 

Jonathan and Becca came to visit in an attempt to evacuate Hurricane Sandy. 

They made it here in once piece and we had a really good visit. 

I've been taking pictures...ALL THE TIME. I just can't believe how many people want me to do this for them. It really is humbling and helping me to be a better hobbyist. I can't wait to see where the next few months take me with that. 

November:

We had an election. I voted Libertarian. Ha. 

Well, since we're still in Novemer, I'll leave it at that. A quick update. 

TOMATO, THE HUBS.

This past weekend Tomato and I attended our SIXTH Marine Corps Birthday Ball. SIX. I can't even believe that. The USMC Birthday Ball is special to us because it was technically our "first date."

It was the start to a very funny story actually. 

Tomato and I actually met a few weeks prior to the ball. He apparently thought I was "cute" which was funny in itself given the details of that event...but anyway, he invited me to the ball. 

I was not interested in dating him. I told him, "That's fine, but just as friends."

Fast forward to night of...he tried to kiss me. 

I turned my head, he didn't get a kiss. 

I was appalled. 

Because of that, he actually got me on the SECOND date weeks later on a bet. The rest was history.

I love these pictures. They make my heart smile. We actually would be on our seventh if it weren't for deployment. However, that's the Marines. 

 

ZERO, THE DRAGON and ALPHA, THE DOODLE.

I just love these guys to pieces. 

Alpha has become a full fledged addition to the family. You don't see Zero without Alpha, or Alpha without Zero. It's hard to believe he's been around since March. He thinks he's a lab, it's adorable. 

Zero is still snugglin', sheddin' and lickin' like a champ.

Song of the Day:

If the Creek Don't Rise by Dylan LeBlanc

You go

Wherever you go today
You go today

ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
To say that a lot has been going on would be a gross understatement of epic proportions. I've been really behind on updating this blog, for various (good!) reasons.

I had a birthday, I'm 25 now. I'm closer to 30 than 20. Weird.
For my birthday this year I got one of the best opportunities in the world.
The opportunity to help save a life. Literally.

I don't know if I've ever referenced it before in this blog but when I was in high school I had a really good friend, who knows who she is. Anyway, one day before graduating we compiled a list in journals. A "bucket list" of sorts. In these books are various obtainable/unobtainable goals from "Going on Oprah" to "Never being late for a single college class." Well unfortunately for me, the latter of those two goals did not work out well.  Anyway, we hoped to accomplish as many of these goals as we possibly could before we died. I don't know if she is still attempting, but I certainly try. Though, "starting a band" probably will never have a check mark beside it.

I still have this "journal" somewhere. The "list" isn't the only gem in this book, but so is my name translated in Chinese and various jedi/sith autographs from my midnight Star Wars showing days.

I've completed a lot of goals on this list , there are a lot that I never will.

I tell you this because this past week I had the opportunity to carry out one (and probably the most epic) of these goals.
- Save a life.

My donation story:
I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm an insane perfectionist. This is important.
This is important because it's how I ended up on the donor registry in the first place.

Five years ago, while still in undergrad one of my professors gave me an opportunity to earn extra credit on an exam (it was the difference between a B+ and an A), so gladly and without ANY hesitation or thought, I accepted. I carried my hiney to the student union and gave a buccal swab (basically a q-tip swabbed in your mouth) and placed my name on a bone marrow donor registry. No biggie. I got an A, all was right in the world.

Fast forward 5 years later.

I'm married.
My last name is changed.
I've had three different addresses.
I've been a nurse for three years at three different hospitals.
I've got two dogs and bills to pay.
I'm definitely not thinking about the bone marrow registry.
But apparently the registry is thinking about me.

So through CIA capabilities, I'm sure, they found me living in Lexington. I got a letter that stated I was a preliminary match for a middle aged patient with aplastic anemia. So I called them to let them know I got the letter. I definitely didn't think I would pass the health screening so I answered their questions and promptly got a call back.

"We need you to go to your local LabCorp and do confirmatory testing. We realize this is going quicker than it normally would but this patient is in a severe state and this could absolutely be the patient's last chance."

So I went.

I was a perfect match.

"Crazy, what are the odds of that?! I'm not even related to this person!" That was my first thought. Then, "OMG, I've gotta help this woman. What if she has a family? What if her daughter is getting married? What if she's about to celebrate 25 years of marriage? It's almost the holidays! What if it were my brother/mother/sister/friend?"

There was absolutely no question about the decision I was about to make.
I was absolutely going to do whatever it took to help this woman and her family.
I would want someone to do the same for mine.

A little about the diesease:

Aplastic Anemia- A disorder in which bone marrow is unable to make enough blood cells to keep you healthy. A very rare but serious disease, otherwise known as "bone marrow failure." You can treat the disease with blood transfusions and medications. However, bone marrow and stem cell transplants are required to cure the disease.  With blood transfusions alone a patient with this disease has a life expectancy of 18 months to two years, on average. With bone marrow there is a 60-90% chance of curing it. This information was obtained from a lot of reading material. Haha.

I knew/know very little about this person...just that she was a severe case of aplastic anemia, her age, her gender, and that I was her "back up donor". Apparently the first donor had backed out.

A week later, we went to Greenville for a physical. There were more needles, EKGs, radiology studies and driving.

There they found that my own hemoglobin (the red cells that carry oxygen) was too low and put me on supplemental iron for a couple of weeks.

One pint of autologous (my own blood donated to myself and coincidently the HARDEST part of this whole thing) and numerous pregnancy tests later...I've got a surgery date.

Day 1: My husband and I fly to Washington, DC to prepare for surgery. That night for my "last meal" we had Thai food with some friends from college who lived in the area. We also explored the District a bit.

Day 2: At 1130 in the morning a representative of the hospital picks me up from the hotel. There I get yet another pregnancy test and am prepared for surgery. I get a large bore IV in my right hand, kiss my husband goodbye and am promptly wheeled to the OR. The anesthesiologist looks at me and says, "Don't worry, I've got the good stuff right here" as she taps her front pocket. I start seeing bright colors and a few seconds later I wake up with a bulky bandage on my back and I'm being wheeled to recovery.

I'm told that after waking up I became ill and required nausea medication. I don't remember too much of this, thankfully.
My throat was sore (from intubation) and I had a somewhat cumbersome bandage on my lower back with a mild amount of pain.

I received a blood transfusion in PACU and required a really long time to pee, but eventually we got to our room where the hospital catered a meal of filet mignon and cheesecake with tons of strawberries and whipped cream.

This is where Timmy told me, "I saw them take away your marrow in a cooler! It was pretty neat." That made my heart smile.

I didn't sleep really well in this hospital. Mostly due to the in and out, the numerous vital sign checks, blood draws and the necessity for urination approximately every 15 minutes. I enjoyed speaking with my nurses and at the end of this hospitalization they didn't want me to leave.

Day 3: We stayed the night in the hotel again. I did pretty well...walking distances made me pretty dizzy so we took it slow. Still, not a lot of pain.

Day 4: I woke up around 0700 with a lot of nausea and had to call the doctor. She assured me this was normal with post anesthesia. So, I drank some ginger ale, took some benadryl and laid down a bit. I was able to eat a cheeseburger at the airport a few hours later. No biggie. Still, not too much pain.

We got home, I snuggled with my dogs. We promptly bought some Mickey Mouse bandaids for my  two puncture sites and settled back into life.

Yesterday I even attempted to clean the house. Ya'll know I can't let that go. I've only required two doses of tramadol (non narcotic pain medication) in the past 24 hours. Right now, I don't even feel like anything happened unless I touch the area.

Would you do this again?
I would do this a million more times if I could.  I think when we hear "bone marrow donation" a million naughty and painful images come to our heads. Really, it wasn't so bad. I mean, there is a huge needle being placed into your pelvis...but you can't even feel it.

I'm a little tired and become very slightly sore with exertion. The real test will happen tomorrow at work. 12 hours in the ER, here I come...with restrictions of course.

I don't feel like a hero. I kept getting asked if I do. However, this truly taught me what a miracle life is and how some people have to fight harder to keep it. It's taught me not to take life or health for grantid.

Mostly though, I keep thinking about this woman...whoever and wherever she is. I keep thinking that right now my bone marrow is making it's way into her bones to give her renewed hope and possibly a second chance at life. I don't know who she is, I don't know if I'll ever have to opportunity to meet her or her family. However, none of that really matters. Even if this transplant doesn't end up saving her life and my "goal" was never accomplished, I hope that this will give her more time with her family and a sense that there are people (that she doesn't even know) who are fighting with her.

To my family, friends and amazing coworkers.
Without the love and support from the people closest to me I wouldn't have been able to do any of this.  My family rallied to help with support and the care of my dogs during the trip. My friends offered me so much love and encouragement. The staff at Lexington Medical Center rallied and covered my ER shifts, gave a wonderful outpouring of love, support and offered me much needed education.

It's moments like these that you find out truly what the people closest to you are worth. I wouldn't replace a single person in my life. You are all heroes to me.

It takes more than one person to make a miracle, it takes several interactions, a lot of minds, hands and above all else: a lot of hope. I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to be used as an instrument in what can possibly be the miracle that saved a life.

To this patient: I pray that you recover, that you get to spend more time with those you love, that you keep faith and continue to have hope. We're on your side.


Sign up!
I don't have extra credit points to hand out, or chocolate, or money....but if you are able and if you want  you can sign up to be a bone marrow registry member at bethematch.org.

I really hope you will. This has truly been one of the best experiences of my life.

There are truly a million other wonderful things I can say about this program, it's goals and my experience. So if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Song of the Day: Mykonos by Fleet Foxes

You gotta fine form

Nobody's sayin' no
Walkin' a fine line
Without hurting you bad


ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
I haven't written in some time. This, is obvious. The truth is...I simply don't know what to write about. See, it's sort of like this and I'm asking you not to judge me. I think I'm caught in a "quarter life crisis". I can hear your mumbling judgements already. It's true though.

I've spent several hours talking to my sister, my grandmother, my Ms. Linda and Mr. Dan. Sometimes I wonder, "Am I really doing what I'm supposed to be doing?" Often times I find myself utterly let down by the human condition. Am I too young to have these feelings? Or is this some natural thing you start feeling around this age?

I love being a nurse. I want to help people. I've always wanted to make a difference. Sometimes, though, it feels like I'm swimming against a strong current. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I can't catch my breath. I often wonder why is it human nature to want to see people fail? Why people feel so entitled?

Let me reiterate, I love being a nurse. I love the adrenaline of the ER, the touch of someone's hand when they're giving thanks, but it's also the hardest thing I have ever and continue to do.

I've been asking myself pretty frequently lately what I want from life. How do I want to affect the people I come in contact with? Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing for the rest of my life?

I think this is a natural part of life. Am I right?

It's not only just the "career" thing. I've been finding myself thinking a lot about my biological father. I find myself wondering what he would think of me now. Would what my life is now, finally be enough to make him want to be a REAL part of my life? I don't even know why I waste time thinking about that. After a phone conversation with my grandmother, I've come to realize that it's kind of a moot point. So, I've got to learn to let that go....but how?

Letting things go...that's a battle all it's own. I don't even know where to begin with that.

Everyone knows that I love taking pictures. However, lately...I'm not really believing in myself. My photos aren't coming out as planned and I'm just getting frustrated. Whatever rut it is that I'm in....needs to go away.

There's just so much in life to think about. I just have to convince myself not to waste too much time thinking about it.


So here's a flashback on the events over the past couple of weeks!:

We went to the lake for Timmy's father's 60th birthday. Had a blast.

I went on a "dog day's" shoot with Valerie Schooling from ValerieSchoolingPhotography.com and also assisted with a bridal show the next day. Super fun.

I occurred some fresh produce from Timmy's mother. We were very happy to spend some time with her.

Lauren and I spent some quality time on the couch during a rainstorm. "The Hard Times of RJ Burger" has officially replaced our "My Life as Liz" obsession.

My Insanity delivery came in the mail. Be on the lookout for my fitness pictures. I think we're about to document this journey. I'm going to obtain that tshirt this time.

Tonight we had sushi at Miyo's for Ryan's  (my brother in law) 36th birthday! So much fun. :)

Oh yeah, I'm also learning to quilt. That should be epic!

TOMATO, THE HUBS.
Lately, we've been talking about what it means if he were to stay active duty with the Marines. We've got a lot of hard decisions to make in the near future. Life altering decisions. That ball should drop some time in August, so keep us on your prayer lists.

My husband is a great person. I'm so thankful that I've got his hand to hold (on the weekends, haha) during this rut I'm in.

He's the best cheerleader in the world.

Speaking of cheerleader...I have something to cheer him on about! Tomato is training to run in the Marine Corps Marathon giving someone drops out. He's got a potential. So, we may be going to DC in October.

ZERO, THE DRAGON and ALPHA, THE DOODLE.
Both of these guys have been awesome. Alpha got fixed and hasn't missed a beat.
Zero is due for surgery to have his teeth cleaned in September.
I love my snuggly dogs.

What I've just finished reading.

("just" being a loose just.)

The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach

Probably one of the best "coming of age" books I've read in a while. 

I think it should be required reading for college freshman. 

This story follows the lives of five people.

Contains a lot of baseball

and hard to digest topics.

9/10

Song of the Day:

Body Work by Morgan Page featuring Tegan and Sarah

And if I only could

Make a deal with God

Get Him to swap our places

Be running up that road

Be running up that hill

With no problems

ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.

I was having a bit of an internal struggle with what to blog about lately. 

For your reading pleasure...what's been weighing on my mind recently:

I'll be 25 years old in August. No, that's not old or anything. However, it's a weird thought for me. On August 25, 2012 I'll be 25 years old, then on August 26th I'll be 25 years and 1 day old. Length wise that makes me closer to 30 than 20. It's a strange thought for me. Even stranger still because I don't feel like an adult...almost at all. 

I was talking to Tomato today, between reading my book and scolding the dogs, I asked him a simple question: "Are we really adults? I don't much feel like an adult." To which he replied, "Not really."

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't escape my notice that together Tomato and I have accomplished and accumulated more than *some* adults twice our age. We have a home, transportation, health insurance, college educations, well-paying careers and a garbage disposal. I don't say this to be arrogant or boastful. I say this because I am eternally grateful to be this blessed and secure at such a young age. However, the questions is this: do these things make us adults? Perhaps these things make us "responsible." I would even venture to say that we are more responsible than *some* adults.

Once a patient of mine told me, "You're only as old as you feel dear."  Does that make me an adult? To feel like one? To feel old?

I tell you what it did make me...more aware that my body, though still young, is not getting younger. I need to be working on this fitness. Like, yesterday. So out of this, I've made it a personal goal to get healthier. 

Maybe it's our experiences and accumulation of wisdom that makes us adults? Which also confuses me.

...it doesn't always happen when you have a kid.

...it doesn't always happen when you graduate.

...it doesn't always happen when you do CPR on someone.

...it doesn't always happen when you talk to other adults.

...it certainly doesn't happen when go on a Disney cruise.

...it doesn't always happen when you get married.

...it doesn't happen when you're 18 and can buy cigarettes and lottery tickets (if that's what makes us adults I really grieve for the future).

Basically the question I pose is this one: What is it that makes us adults? Where is that magical line drawn?

Speaking of not being an adult...Timmy and I went on a date DAY yesterday. Yes, an entire day full of dates. It was awesome.

We went to the bookstore where I bought three books for less than 8 dollars, ate some Five Guys, had a cupcake and went and saw Brave.

Cute movie. I love Pixar and I love redheads in Pixar movies. I've just decided.

Tomato even bought me a guitar. I'm pretty stoked about learning this instrument. I've always wanted to since I was a little girl. 

TOMATO, THE HUBS.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I have the greatest husband. There are not many people, let alone men, that I know that are the equivalent of my husband. As far as my above life dilemma is concerned, I'd be happy to be a kid with my husband by my side...all the days of my life. 

I can't imagine why God saw fit to bless me with such an awesome friend and partner. 

Again, he's back to NC...without me. The sacrifice he makes never fails to escape my notice. I don't live there anymore, but he never holds the decision of my leaving against me. Instead, he nurtures my talents, congratulates my victories and stands next to me even in the hardest things. 

I wish all girls (and guys) could be as lucky as I am. This is how marriage is supposed to be. I just feel it.

ZERO, THE DRAGON and ALPHA, THE DOODLE.

Zero has become quite vocal lately. I think this is a habit he's picked up from the youngin'. Doodle is very vocal and coincidently I think Zero has found his voice. 

Zero has recently switched his frisbee for a giant ball. It's way easier to pick up and isn't tearing up Tomato's precious grass. 

However, Alpha has taken a liking to digging. Let me break it down for you. Dachshund in it's literal translation is German for "badger dog." So, he's quite frankly digging for badgers. 

Anyway, he got two baths today. The image of Alpha covered in dirt will not be one I soon forget.

What I've just finished reading.

Divergent by Veronica Roth

Dystopian society gone wrong.

What makes it so scary is that it isn't too far fetched.

Basically as an "adult" you choose between five factions.

These factions are basically personality traits that define you.

A girl named Tris is the main character, she finds that instead of fitting in with one faction like the rest of society, she actually belongs to three.

Which is so not allowed.

Then, as my friend so eloquently put it..."s*** hits the fan."

It's awesome.

10/10

Insurgent by Veronica Roth

The sequel to Divergent continues with Tris's not so willing battle with her world's faction system.

Lots of betrayal and plot twists.

Romance and friendship.

Killing and gore.

9/10

City of Bones: The Mortal Instruments Series (Book One) by Cassandra Clare

A young adult fantasy novel.

Fairies, vampires, werewolves, demon hunters, witches and warlocks.

This book has got every thing that's gone "bump in the night."

The book follows Clary and a group of her friends on a quest to save her mother and inadvertently take on one of the most wayward "Shadowhunters" that ever lived.

9/10

Henry VIII by Margaret George
I'm practically obsessed with Henry VIII and the Tudor dynasty.
This book sated that for me since I can't watch "The Tudors" anymore.
The Tudor dynasty is pretty historically awesome.
Though this book was not historical fact, it was pretty great.
8/10

Next in the Queue (since joining a sort of book club):

The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach

Appropriate with all the baseball chatter in SC right now.


...apparently I look really angry while I read. However, it could have been what was happening in the book at the time?

Song of the Day

Running Up That Hill by Placebo

Just because we're growing up

it doesn't mean we've had enough
When times are hard we'll smile and say
we're not afraid of anything
(cause we feel young and wild)


ASHLEY, COMMANDING OFFICER.
What an awesome weekend high I'm coming off of. There is absolutely nothing like Charleston, good friends and live music.

Tomato and I had originally planned on going to Carowinds this weekend, but because we wanted our family to come along we postponed for two weeks. I'm so insanely glad we did.

The conversation sort of went like this:

Me: "Well since we're not going to Carowinds this weekend, can we go to Charleston instead?"
Tomato: "How are finances?"
Me: "We gotz this."
Tomato: "Let me call Trent and see if he wants to get together."

Fast forward a few hours

RING. RING. (Tomato's phone)
Trent: "You guys wanna see a show?"
Tomato: "Who's playing"
Trent: "Fitz and the Tantrums."
Tomato: "Umm..."
Trent: "Your wifey will know who they are."
Me: (In the background) "Yeah!"
Tomato: "We're in."

So began our Charleston adventure. We get to good 'ol Chuck and start walking around and such. I got some flip flops, whatever. Then we went to The Charleston Market. When did The Charleston Market get so bougie?! Anyway...

We met Trent and Sickel at Hyman's, ate some yummy seafood then proceeded to walk to the concert venue. This alone was grade-A entertainment. Free pizza, Charlestonians, cobblestones, Spoleto, Monster energy drinks, Abbey Road-walking all the crosswalks, Urban outfitters...fun for everyone. We had a pitt stop at a smoke shop and the guys indulged themselves with some fine cigars and reminisced about the easier/faster days.

Then there were the lightsaber kids. My life was instantly complete and all was right in the world. If you've never witnessed a lightsaber fight on skateboard, you've been seriously missing out.

We now interrupt this story for a hipster joke.

Q: What hotel won't a hipster stay at?

A: The Standard.


Back to the story:

So the first band. Epic. I love it when a band gets involved with the crowd. When I say involved, this band REALLY got involved. I mean full out drumming in the crowd and recording themselves doing it on fan iPhones. It was pretty intense and we were directly involved in the madness. I love the madness. After the set was done we wanted to know who said band was...the entire group in our vicinity was set on figuring it out. "Royal something...Royal T?" "That's a cool name. No?" "Royal Tree." "That's not right." Then it clicked..."Royal TEETH!", whilst pointing to your teeth. That's how we found out who it was. Follow me?

Anyway, Royal Teeth was beast and most definitely needs to be put on blast...in your car...in your home...wherever. Just play it loud.

The next band, meh.

Fitz and the Tantrums, tore it up. I first came across this band when iTunes was giving the song "Moneygrabber" away for free. So glad I downloaded that song. They're quite their own genre.

We think Zach was roofied. However, he can scratch that off his bucket list. Apparently he makes great cougar bait. I don't think her husband was too thrilled though.

The walk back to the car was filled with music, not stepping on side walk cracks and various other shenanigans.


What this whole experience taught me is this (It's weird when life lessons can be derived from events such as these.):

Life moves so incredibly fast. One day you wake up and you're 25 and getting older. Sometimes, you forget what it's like to just live, to live without resistance, to lack inhibition, to be a kid, the be loud, to be fantastic.

Friends, both new and old, are so incredibly important.

My personal goal for my own life: When someone asks me, "What have you been up to lately?" I wanna say more than just "work." I want to be able to say so much more than that.

Carpe Diem....and for the more hip folks, YOLO. (God, I hate that phrase.)

I look forward to the future.

TOMATO, THE HUBS.
The show this weekend, was his first ever intimate, small venue, live show...EVER. I don't know how he's gone this long. I think he literally had the time of his life. It's very rare that you can ask Tomato how he feels about something and his answer is, "I had a blast!" I think this may have ignited in him the spark of music that I carry around all the time. I think it gave him a new appreciation for "something other than country music."

I think most importantly he was glad for the opportunity to hang out with Trent. Trent was his mentee knob at the Citadel. Basically this means, for all intensive purposes Trent "was under his wing." Coincidently, Trent has become an important part of our lives. Trent was a groomsman at our wedding and unfortunately, that was the last time we saw him before this past weekend. Two years ago, and obviously too long ago.

ZERO, THE DRAGON and ALPHA, THE DOODLE.
Alpha went to the vet this morning, and because there was a problem with appointments he was dropped off and I'm to be called when he's ready. I feel bad for leaving him because when he's getting shots it's really the only time that he seems utterly dependent on me. I feel bad for the Dood. What really made me sad though was seeing another dachshund in line and noticing that he had a horrible back problem. I know that this is a big problem with wieners but it really hit me. So, when I go to pick up the Dood he'll be getting stairs.

Zero is sad without Alpha. I thought he'd be happy for the break, but alas...he is not. Hopefully the vet will call soon and we can ease the dragon's agony.

What I've just finished reading.

Nothing.

I'm still reading Henry VIII. 

Don't judge me, it's a very long book and I'm a very busy woman!

However, next on the Summer reading list:

Divergent by Veronica Roth

A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Song of the Day:

Wild by Royal Teeth